I went to my first ever Buddhist teaching last week. It was on karma and sort of incidentally the teacher monk guy person said that things don’t make us happy; we make us happy. True happiness is found within when we do good things (which is also v. good for the karma and after that it gets complicated. But I digress). Anyway, I don’t think Kelsang Dorje (the teacher monk guy person) is a gardener. Then again maybe he is. In any case, not a day goes by when I don’t think my garden (and consequently my capacity for happiness) would be complete without a particular plant or, as of this past week, a particular plant container that I’ve taken to walking by daily as if the owner might notice my desire for it and bestow it upon me as I pass (I’d have to go back for the car). But if only… If only it were mine! In my garden! Then true bliss.
Then again, I know me. Last week Gail (my coworker) and I went to one of our favorite nurseries to buy things for holes at work (see this post if you haven’t already and you’re curious) and more importantly, buy things for each other as a belated birthday extravaganza. We both fell for, of all things, wisteria. You probably already know what was on my wish-list for the arbor but I was completely taken in by the thought of a native wisteria that “reblooms” and is “easier to control” and “attractive to butterflies”. Never mind that it grows 20′ and needs constant pruning attention at the top of a tall ladder. Never mind that.
Anyway, at the time, standing there at Peckham’s cradling the wisteria like a baby, nothing would make me happier. But now that it’s planted, I’m not so sure. Maybe Dorje is right. Does this happen to you too?
4 thoughts on “Buyer’s remorse”
We make us happy but some things definitely help. The sight of a flower in bloom is true happiness and I guess it doesn’t matter if it is in my garden or someone else’s. I generally feel as though I am just a Steward of the landscape as life is short and someone else will eventually walk my paths. Wait until that wisteria blooms and you will just smile at that long ago thought.
Layanee, Everything you say is true. (Feel absolutely free to say told-ya-so when I go into raptures next June.) Only I hope the next person to walk these paths doesn’t trip on rampant wisteria vines and rue the day I planted it! -kris
That’s 20 feet in a summer, I believe. Don’t worry about it, just give it a little trim every time you walk by. It will reward you with glorious bloom.Wisteria grows here, rampant. Plant it where it can be mowed all the way around and do not allow it to grow on a wood structure. It will be beautiful.
Nell Jean, I hope what you say about its habit isn’t true. I know it’s true of the Asian wisteria – I’d say 20′ a week for that one – but I was given every assurance that our native was better behaved! But I know I’ll agree that it’s beautiful and since I wear my snips like some sort of weird fashion accessory, I’ll have no excuse not to hack it back when it goes out of bounds. So nice to meet you here as well as at work – thanks for visiting! -kris