Not goodbye

A couple-three weeks ago, just as I set out on vacation, I learned that I wouldn’t be returning to Blithewold.

Like many humans, I’m not a huge fan of change — whether self-inflicted, foisted upon, or a combination. But change happens, so they say. And everyone (including me) who’s been through some claims that it’s good.

The worst part was not getting the chance to thank and say goodbye to the people I so lucky to meet, work with, and learn from at Blithewold for the past 12 years, or to those who followed our adventures in gardening and joined the conversation through the Blithewold blog.

I’m no good at goodbyes. I am usually the one leaving, who, coat on and halfway out the door, awkwardly keeps the conversation going while the wind blows in. I’m the one standing on the dock, watching and waving until you’re out of sight. Breakups have been interminable. My family has long since adopted a goodbye ritual, which must be followed to the word (my rules), to prevent excessive lingering. I would have said goodbye — for awhile — if I could have.

But I also don’t want to say goodbye. Just as lasting friendships have been the consequence of most of my endless breakups, I would rather hold onto heartfelt connections. So I’m just going to hang out right here in the doorway of this blog, waving and saying everything but goodbye.

6 thoughts on “Not goodbye

  1. Keep on blogging or let me know what’s next!

    •—–—–—–—–—–—–• Sent via Marta’s mobile

    Marta, Thank you — I’ll definitely keep you posted, so to speak! -kris

  2. Thanks for keeping us informed! Hope to hear about your next great adventure! Please keep blogging.

    Marianne, will do. So far, that’s the only plan I have! -kris

  3. Wow, Kris. You and Blithewold is what drew me into the blogosphere, and so this loss is keenly felt. Thank you for all the beautiful pictures you drew, and all the photos. Here’s to the next page.

    Susan, meeting you through the blog was definitely one of the highlights of my tenure there. I have thoroughly enjoyed our conversations and I’m so glad that they’ll continue! -kris

  4. Dearest Kris, This is just the loveliest blog of all your blogs. Graceful, poignant and heart-breaking. Words are failing me. I refuse to utter regrets because you are still going to write and be funny and true. And paint!!!

    Ginny, words fail me too — I can’t thank you enough for your support and encouragement all along. You’re the best. xo -kris

  5. Kristin, reading this with sadness in my heart for you and all that you accomplished in the soil at Blithewold over so many beautiful years. I will always remember our wonderful conversation in your car when I came out last fall. You, your talent and your human goodness made such an impression on me. Please keep writing. Your prose is so lovely and personal – not “garden-writery” but more literary than most! Sending good juju for a crazy jolt of inspiration with your newfound freedom! xx debra

    Debra, Thank you!! Your generosity continues to blow me away. I feel incredibly lucky to have met you and to have had time for an instant-friends tête à tête. And in Seattle too. Speaking of which, I’ll be back again in February — to speak this time. I have no doubt that my NWFGS proposal was accepted thanks to you! So see you again soon. xo -kris

  6. Kristen, my gardening hero. I was just at Blithewold on Saturday – your ‘plantiful’ touch is everywhere. But, on you go, there are other gardens and landscapes that need you…like gardens, lives are constantly evolving…I hope you’re on the speaking circuit and I catch you in Boston sometime. I send you a virtual bouquet of my zinnias.

    Sylvia (MY hero), Thank you!! I put your virtual zinnias right into my prettiest vase. They’re beautiful! And you’ve given me just the incentive I need to try to get a gig up in your neck of the woods. Hope to see you soon! -kris

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